SHARED VOCABULARY

Have you ever said the phrase, “I’m so depressed today,” but are not actually diagnosed with depression? Or have you ever called an ex-lover a “psychopath” or your mother “obsessive”? If that’s a yes, then you have used shared vocabulary.

Language has evolved so that multiple words and phrases can have two different meanings. Many young adults say, “That’s cap,” when they believe that something is false, although a cap refers to a hat. Even the phrase “break a leg” doesn’t actually mean that the person wishes the other would break their leg; they are just sending them well wishes on a performance or an activity. Shared vocabulary is a way to express thoughts and feelings in a different way that other descriptors couldn’t quite capture. It allows people to exclaim ideas in a more dramatic way that they feel more accurately describes how they are in the moment.

One common aspect of shared vocabulary is generalizing language in ways that confuse the literal and the expressive. Take the examples I used earlier. I have heard so many people say that they are depressed or having a panic attack or even want to kill themselves. In the first instance they are merely sad, in the second they are just experiencing stress, in the third they are merely being hyperbolic. But in none of these instances do these speakers have a mental illness, even though they are sharing language with clinical conditions and diagnoses. Similarly, I've also heard people say that their parents are psychotic or that their ex-girlfriend is a stalker, which seems disrespectful both to their parents and their ex-girlfriend and to those who might suffer from illnesses characterized by those terms. Sensitivity to this disrespect also invokes so-called cancel culture, which is the concept of “cancelling” celebrities and influencers for perceived violations of language norms. Many are quick to judge public figures for wording their thoughts incorrectly, but the problem with shared language and the confusion it can create makes this judgment somewhat unfair and potentially unrealistic, as we are all at risk of using language in ways that both confer and compromise meaning.

However, the shared vocabulary that generalizes mental illnesses and normalizes name-calling in relationships does not sit right with me, as mental illness is not something that can be made a joke or something viewed as normal in our society and people should not automatically assuming the worst about the people they are in a relationship with, whether the relationship is romantic or not. There are multiple overlaps between these two subjects, as some people view sexuality as a mental disorder or call the person they are in a relationship with bipolar or manic, etc. There is also the association of relationships with mental illnesses, such as relationship anxiety, that normalizes feeling nervous in relationships.

What this website aims to do is introduce the shared vocabulary of mental illnesses and relationships and how this vocabulary can be corrected and altered to not offend anyone. I will be bringing in my own personal experiences with shared vocabulary so you can understand why this is important to me and how I have experienced shared vocabulary.