WHAT DOES THIS MEAN FOR LANGUAGE?

When I first realized the issues that come with shared vocabulary, specifically the issues I highlighted earlier, I felt my savior complex begin to surface. I wanted to find a way to fix this harmful language so that no one would get offended and people can still exclaim how they feel with descriptors that fit perfectly. However, I have come to realize that there is no perfect way to fix our language, as it isn’t a language problem but more so an attitudinal issue.

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First, imagine if we did change our language. What would happen if we made it so that clinical words can only be used in clinical settings and not in everyday use to describe an exaggerated feeling? Let me set the scene: you just had the worst day of your life. You missed your alarm so you were late for work. You spilled coffee all over your favorite shirt. Your computer was attacked by a virus so you lost all of your files. You get a flat tire on your way home. You finally get home and realize you don’t have anything to eat. It had been just a horrible day. You decide to eat out with a friend and the waitress got your order wrong. You go to exclaim that you want to kill yourself but remember that you are not clinically depressed and cannot use that phrase. However, saying that you are frustrated or exhausted or upset doesn’t exactly fit how you feel about today either. In a case like this, shared vocabulary would be beneficial, as it could best describe how you feel and it could be apparent that you are merely exaggerating.

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Now, imagine if we did nothing about this. Anyone could say anything they wanted, even if it was an exaggeration. Picture this: you are in a screaming match with your mother. It’s about something trivial. Maybe you forgot to do the dishes or you came home past curfew or you just missed her call and she was worried. Regardless, you are mad at her for being overbearing and she is mad at you for not listening. She is going on a tangent about how you are going down the wrong path and she just wants you to be better. The first thing that comes to mind and out of your mouth is, “Stop being such a psychopath!” You both pause, letting the words marinate. You realize what you said and immediately try to take it back after remembering your mom’s mental health issues. However, at this point, it is too late and she internalizes it. Although you didn’t actually mean that she is a psychopath, it still triggered her to think that she is a problem. In this scenario, shared vocabulary is quite harmful, as it hurts both the mother and you.

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Situations like these led me to think that this is not a language problem but an attitudinal problem for both language and how we view these topics. There is a time and place for everything, including language. Sometimes, it is okay to exclaim that you would like to just be skinny or that your best friend is toxic. However, people need to be wary that other people may not take to that language well, even if it is an over-exaggeration.

People also must alter the way they view mental health and relationships. Having a mental illness has become more normalized and will continue being normalized if people do not reassess what defines a mental illness. There are differences between being depressed and having depression, being anxious and having anxiety, wanting to lose weight and having an eating disorder. When people begin to recognize these differences, our views on mental health will shift along with the language used to describe those disorders.

This concept can also be applied to relationships. Society holds such high standards for all types of relationships, and if they are not met, people begin to assume the worst. This is where the name-calling comes in. People jump to these conclusions about people they are in a relationship with and use vocabulary that may not be accurate descriptors of these people. If there were no standards for these relationships, people would be able to recognize that it is okay to have different relationships and might be less likely to name-call.

The idea of shared vocabulary will most likely stick around, however people must alter how they view language, mental health, and relationships and consciously think more about the words they say and who they say it around. We cannot stop people from saying certain things entirely, but if we can get people to think twice before they utter a word or phrase, that is still a step in the right direction.